Parent FAQ

Why is this process so different from what I went through?
The Dynamic Catholic Institute reports that 85% of confirmed teens will leave the faith within 7 years.  St. Gabriel greatly desires more for our teens and families.  Adolescence is a pivotal moment when a young person takes MORE ownership of the faith passed from their family.  We created our confirmation preparation model to:

  Does a parent have to be oriented to Confirmation?
Yes.  St. Gabriel has a unique Confirmation model, therefore we have found it necessary for all parents to be oriented to start the process. The orientation empowers parents and provides the details needed to support their teen to experience a meaningful Confirmation Journey.  Parent orientations take place in September/October. (The exact date will follow registration). Preparation with the youth does not start until the parent is oriented.

How do I sign-up my teen for confirmation preparation?
There is not a separate registration for confirmation.  Teens who wish to pursue the sacrament need to register for the appropriate primary youth ministry program for their grade level: Fusion (8th graders) or High School Youth Ministry (Grades 9-12).

Does my teen need to be enrolled in Fusion (8th grade) or High School Youth Nights?
Yes!  The Confirmation Journey (Milestones and Stepping Stones) is in addition to participating in a primary weekly youth ministry program for their grade level.   

What is the process for preparing for confirmation? How do I get my teen started?
This is a great question!  Please visit the "The Confirmation Journey".

Why can’t I do the preparation with my teen? Why is that responsibility given to the sponsor?
This generation is the loneliest generation ever to be studied. According to research from Spring Tide Institute, 1 in 3 of our young people feel completely alone much of the time and nearly 40% have no one to talk to and feel left out (Belonging: Reconnecting America’s Loneliest Generation).  The research in the Belonging report concluded that if a young person has 5 trusted adults in their life, these numbers go down dramatically and teens are better equipped to thrive in their adolescent years leading into adulthood.  Based on this research, we have decided to help our teens find another trusted adult to do life with.  This is why we have chosen the Sponsor to fill the role of leading the candidate on the journey.  Additionally, the role of the sponsor is to profess to the Bishop that the candidate is ready to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation.  By choosing the sponsor to be on the journey, we are giving the sponsor an opportunity to profess their candidate’s readiness with confidence and thus restoring an important role the Sponsor fills at the Rite of Confirmation.

How do I help my teen choose a sponsor?
During the Parent Steppingstone #1, we will give you directions on how to choose a sponsor.  However, here are the minimal requirements given by the church to get you started on thinking about who you might ask: 

• 16 years of age or older
• Is not the father or mother of the candidate
• Received the three Sacraments of Initiation: Baptism, Eucharist and Confirmation
• Participates in the Mass on Sundays and Holy Days; and receives the Sacraments of Eucharist and Reconciliation regularly.
• Actively strives to live out their commitment to Christ and to the community life of the church by a lovingly responding to those with whom they come in contact.
• If married, the marriage is valid according to the laws of the Catholic Church.
• Is willing to give support to the candidate through prayer,  preparation, and the example of their Christian life.
• Is able to attend the Rite of Confirmation Mass and testify to the Bishop the candidate's readiness to receive the sacrament

Can my older teen be a sponsor?
Teens 16 years or older who have received all their sacraments of initiation (Baptism, First Holy Communion and Confirmation) are eligible to be a sponsor.  However, in our experience, they are not necessarily equipped to journey with their candidate through the Milestones.  Older teens need more support from parents to ensure the candidate is prepared for the sacrament. If your candidate chooses an older teen as their sponsor, be prepared to provide extra support.  If it is still not working out, then reach out to us and we will help you find a mentor to accompany your candidate on the journey. The older teen can still serve as the sponsor.

Can my teen choose a sponsor who lives out of town?
Absolutely! Yes! This process is designed to be done in-person. However, with technology (ZOOM, FaceTime, etc.) these meetings are possible.  We encourage ZOOM (or similar) so you can share images and watch videos at the same time.  When the sponsor comes in town for a special occasion, it is a great opportunity to meet in-person for a milestone or activity with their candidate.  (Keep in mind that it is ideal for the sponsor to be physically present at the Confirmation Mass.)

What if I can’t find a sponsor?
We completely understand that it may be difficult to find a sponsor who fulfills the requirements to be a sponsor and that can make a commitment to the preparation journey.  If you are unable to find a qualified sponsor, please contact the youth ministry department and we will go to our volunteers to find someone who can fill this role with your teen.

I feel like this is too much to ask of a sponsor.  What do I do?
First of all, the invitation to be a trusted adult in a teen’s life and to journey with them toward the Sacrament of Confirmation can be a wonderful compliment to a potential sponsor.  Please do not hesitate to help your teen make this invitation to someone they desire to fill this role in their life.  If your teen is having a difficult time finding a family member or family friend who is qualified and can make this commitment, please guide them towards an adult they admire at St. Gabriel.  Perhaps there is a core team member or an adult they know and admire from another ministry.  If they still have difficulty, we have volunteers who are excited to fill this role and journey with teens through this process.  Please contact the youth ministry department for assistance.

How many service hours will my teen need to turn in?
Our hope in this preparation process is that your candidate develops a heart for service. In Parent Steppingstone 2, parents and youth will talk about different populations of people who need help and how we can help them. We would like one of their two service experiences to come from that conversation of service.  The 2 categories are: Serve the St. Gabriel Community and Serve outside the St. Gabriel community.

What are the milestones? How long does it take to go through all 5 milestones?
This is a great question!  Please visit the “What are the Milestones?” webpage. 

When do the milestones need to be completed?
The preparation process is self-paced.  We do not impose deadlines.  When the sponsor and candidate finish the milestones, we will schedule the candidate for the next Confirmation Mass (scheduled in the spring each year).  It is necessary to finish the milestones at the given final deadline prior to the Confirmation mass date so that we can collect and organize the final pieces of information we need from the candidate for the Rite of Confirmation. Keep in mind that this preparation experience is designed to be completed in a 6-month time frame. 

Where do the sponsor and my teen have their meetings?
There is no required space or time for the milestone meetings between a teen and their sponsor.  Scheduling the place of the meeting is at your and the sponsor’s discretion.  We ask that you keep these tips in mind:

• If your teen’s sponsor was chosen and invited by the family, the parent works out a safe meeting location comfortable for all parties.   When the sponsor is not a family member, we would strongly recommend that the parent remains nearby whereby so that the meeting is interruptable to support a safe environment.
• If the sponsor is someone you don’t know as well or the St. Gabriel youth ministry team arranged a sponsor for the teen, the meeting should take place in a "safe environment" location.  The meeting is to be in a public place and the parent should remain nearby so the meeting is interruptible.  St. Gabriel assigned sponsors will be safe environment cleared. Good locations may be a coffee shop with the parent in the car or across the room, in a living room with a parent in another part of the house, or in the parish center lobby while other people are at church and the parent is nearby.